In the Mix

Kampong Lorong Buangkok, Singapore's last rural village soon to disappear

2009-10-30T16:16:00.042+01:00

A kampong house in Kampung Lorong Buangkok. Photo by Jessdo (Habitatnews on Flickr).

Singapore, a bustling city with skyscrapers and a shoppers' paradise. Sadly, development comes with a high price to pay when heritage has to make way for more land....

Tucked away somewhere in a corner of the cosmopolitan city, is a place where a slower pace of life seems to exist. Kampong Lorong Buangkok is the last surviving kampong (Malay for village) in the north east region on mainland Singapore. The kampong was also known as Selak Kain in Malay, which meant 'hitching up one's sarong (skirt)' as people hitch up their sarongs to wade through floods whenever the village experienced flash floods in the 20th century Singapore.

According to the news, the kampong is due to be demolished and redeveloped in the near future. Chickens pecking away on the narrow dirt roads and wooden huts with zinc roofs, many of them are empty as most families have since moved out.

The kampong is off Sengkang East Avenue near Yio Chu Kang Road. One could alight at the bus-stop along Yio Chu Kang Road, opposite the Church of St Vincent de Paul. Lorong Buangkok is within walking distance from Gerald Drive.

Capture a part of old Singapore before it fades away.....

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Video's of Lorong Buangkok

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An interactive virtual tour of the kampong

Bummed out..... or not

2009-08-18T13:04:00.018+02:00

Overweight or not? It makes a big difference whether you are Asian, Caucasian or Pacific Islander. So I checked my BMI using this calculator. According to the standards, the healthy range for an Asian is 18.5 to 22.9.

But what about an Asian raised in Europe? Does the BMI cut-off for Asians still apply then? I've searched the net but have found no answer. Either way, which ever standard I use, my current BMI isn't ideal. Bummer!

But hey, while I was surfing the net, it became clear that we shouldn't base our health only on BMI calculations. Other parameters should be taken into account too, for instance: age, gender, waist measurement and health risks. The picture below is a good example. So my lesson today is not to let my BMI result get me down so easily.... there are more things to life and it is the condition of the soul that brings meaning.

The past, present & future with the angels

2009-08-17T11:35:00.006+02:00

I was curious what the angels had to say.....

Unique photo session at Van Gogh Museum Amsterdam

2009-07-22T09:49:00.021+02:00

Van Gogh Museum - Self-portrait 1887 - 1888
From my photostream, MicheleLovesArt on Flickr

Usually, taking photos is strictly forbidden in the Van Gogh Museum in Amsterdam. However, an exception was made for a special photo session on the mornings of 23rd and 29th June 2009. The museum lifted this rule specially for the photo project Wiki Loves Art /NL. Photos taken during the month of June in participating museums will be used for Wikipedia. I took part in the 1st photo session and a news crew was there too....

I am a Princess!!!

2008-07-18T08:48:00.001+02:00

Which Disney Heroine Are You?

Created by BuddyTV

Colour Quiz

2008-06-15T10:45:00.002+02:00

Shell took the free ColorQuiz.com personality test!

"Her need to feel more causative and to have a wide..."

Click here to read the rest of the results.

Heal the past

2008-03-03T07:30:00.000+01:00

"What you bring forth out of yourself from the inside will save you. What you do not bring forth out of yourself from the inside will destroy you."

-- Gospel of Thomas

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We can transform painful memories by re-imagining them from the soul’s perspective of love and meaning.

Andrew Schneider says that all experiences have the purpose of serving the soul. An experience in the past blocked us because our fear at the time distorted our perception of what happened. To transform this limiting experience, we must bring what was then unconscious into the soul’s realm through consciousness.

We can do this by following these steps:

1. RECALL the past experience that might inhibit us.

2. OWN the experience (no judgment, blame, etc.).

3. TAKE RESPONSIBILITY for it and the consequences (i.e., the experience was determined by my subjective perception of what occurred, dictated by my lack of wholeness -- specifically my fears).

4. GIVE IT MEANING (the soul was attempting to gain some kind of mastery or skill, but we didn’t know that at the time).

5. RE-IMAGINE it from the perspective of soul consciousness (showing its higher purpose).

"Letting go of our suffering is the hardest work we will ever do. It is also the most fruitful. To heal means to meet ourselves in a new way -- in the newness of each moment where all is possible and nothing is limited to the old."

-- Stephen Levine

Are You A High Maintenance Woman?

2007-08-09T21:17:00.001+02:00

You Are Medium Maintenance

You aren't as hard to deal with as some girls
But you aren't the most laid back chick either
You're easy to deal with 90% of the time, but watch out for that 10%!
If the guy you are with has good intentions, then calm down a little
But if he's really screwing up, don't waste your breath - move on :-)

Are You A High Maintenance Woman?

The First Sign

2007-05-30T18:25:00.000+02:00

Yesterday the cards mentioned my angels are trying to send me signs... well, today when I was looking though my mail, there was a white envelop with something bulky inside. My instinct told me immediately that I'd won some kind of contest again. When I opened the envelop and saw its contents, I was amused.... and thought to myself, "This MUST be a sign!".... what was it? Intuition cards!!!

Meditation, New Beginnings, Signs

2007-05-29T19:09:00.002+02:00

Today's messages from my angels:

Heavenly Radiance

2007-05-12T22:09:00.001+02:00

like a halo of light around a rainbow...

The first moment I got a whiff of this new fragrance, its heavenly scent awakened my soul and I just knew I had to have this radiant delight... for more than 2 weeks I really wanted this fragrance but my financial status wasn't making it happen... However, this week, I thought to myself, "This Saturday, I will have this fragrance..." I asked, visualised and let go... And guess what? I received an email yesterday with a voucher for an extra 5 euros off the current discount price!! An answer from the Universe! Grateful for this blessing, I went out and got myself a 2 piece giftset of a 30ml Eau de Toilette accompanied by a 50ml body lotion. Yay for me!

Character:
Sheer happiness, the pleasure of peace and harmony, long walks at one with nature, freedom, like finding paradise…. A fruity floral fragrance, colorful and glowing, like a halo of light around a rainbow.

Top Note:
Incanto Shine takes off with sparkling pineapple and passion fruit, bursting with joy and propelled by fizzy bergamot.

Middel Note:
Delicate freesia and pink peony suddenly twine with vineyard peach in carnal sensuality.

Base Note:
White cedarwood, soft amber and musk melt down in a voluptuous cocoon, evoking the smell of skin warmed by the sun.

A pink and sunny rainbow tinges the flacon, streaking through the azure blue sky. Delicate pink flowers cluster here, the flight of a dragonfly there...

A sheer fantasy, a heavenly radiance.
~ by Salvatore Ferragamo ~

***
THE JOY OF BERGAMOT
It is within the sweet, spicy, citrus aroma,
We find a high frequency that lightens our heart and mind with joy
The aroma carries us to our eternal youth eliminating worries and sorrows.
Believing in another day that brightness will arise with the sunshine in our souls.
To begin with new freshness, creating an awareness of the light to carry us forward to the dimensions of joyfulness.

***

EN-COURAGEMENT OF CEDARWOOD
Woody warm and sweet
The grounding aroma of the cedar tree
It carries a powerful, dignified, strengthening scent.
As the breath inhales the notes of this tree
Eliminating imbalance of our lives
Creating a gliding feeling
To conquer our dreams
***
~ by Danielle Sade, Aromatherapy Center ~

A Bridge Too Far

2007-05-09T01:45:00.000+02:00

It's 1.45am now but I'm not able to sleep... There's too much noise... and it's all coming through me... the messages are so clear now.... the signs sent to me lately are so clear to me now.... but they all come with so much noise. It's so overwhelming that I decided to get out of bed completely and so here I am now... trying to write the noise out of me....

It rained all day today but early this evening, the sun suddenly appeared and I'd never seen it shine so bright.... But as suddenly as it appeared, it faded just as quickly away, and the only thing that remained was so intensly cold. Sometimes the sun comes out so beautifully and gives so much warmth, you wish it would stay with you forever... but suddenly clouds come and the sun starts to fade away... and the further the sun seems to stray... until it even hides itself from you... sometimes for a day, sometimes for a week or two.

And then comes a day when you realise that you can't remember feeling it... for so much time has passed since you felt the warmth on your skin.... the distance is now too great... and you can't seem to find the very bridge that brought you to it in the first place... it seems too far... but yet you search...

And after a while, as long as the sun hides itself, you grow weary... you feel the energy leaving you... it gets colder..

olam haba, originally uploaded by nice+smooth ultramedia.

But like all things in life, there are different paths you can take... there is always choice... give up searching and wait in patience, for you believe the sun will come again to find you, only you just don't know when... or keep on searching, believing you'll soon find that same bridge that connected you once before... or build a new bridge to lead you to the sun that's still out there somewhere...
which path will you walk?

Whichever path you take, there is no wrong or right... whichever path you take, you need strength to walk it... whichever the path, there's no sure thing of where it will lead... but question is, do you have enough strength if you have to walk alone?

Forgive me if what I've written seems too flaky, too dreamy... it's now 4am and I've been here for more than 2 hrs now but the noise still hasn't left. And above all, I'm deprived of sleep so my brain's only half here... Regardless, in about 2hrs time, I still have to leave for work, but though I'm still not able to sleep, I think I'll just lay down and give my eyes some rest at least...

Two Boxes

2007-05-06T20:58:00.000+02:00

I have in my hands two boxes
Which God gave me to hold.
He said,"Put all your sorrows in the black,
And all your joys in the gold."

I heeded his words, and in the two boxes
Both my joys and sorrows I store.
But though the gold became heavier each day
The black was as light as before.

With curiosity, I opened the black
I wanted to find out why.
And I saw, in the base of the box, a hole
Which my sorrows had fallen out by.

I showed the hole to God, and mused aloud,
"I wonder where my sorrows could be."
He smiled a gentle smile at me.
"My child, they're all here with me."

I asked,"God, why give me the boxes,
Why the gold, and the black with the hole?"
"My child, the gold is for you to count your blessings,
the black is for you to let go."

Body Care, Healing, SoulMate

2007-05-05T15:55:00.001+02:00

With the inspiration of healing still in me, I came across a link at consciousone.com and intuitively selected 3 Healing With the Angels Oracle cards. According to the site, each card from left to right, the past, present and future, carries a message from my angel. And each divine message I hold close to me...

Being thankful

2007-05-05T14:27:00.001+02:00

Yesterday, someone said to me, "The reason why I am able to pull myself through all of this is because I keep hearing your voice saying just 3 words: 'Count my Blessings'. Do you know, this is helping me so much? And it's all you."

Hearing him say that, I realised that I am able to touch the people around me and actually make some difference. I am grateful for this gift within me that helps bring inspiration and healing to others and I pray for the strength to help me do so.

This reminds me that I should use this gift for myself too, so this weekend is for gratitude, a whole weekend for room to count my blessings. I will appreciate everything that comes my way today. Be it joy, be it sadness, they are all blessings, it's all beauty of this journey called "Life". This is an important daily ritual for me for I strongly believe that when you count your blessings, it gives you peace and awakens your heart.

Counting your blessings is being thankful. Not only for the good things but it's especially being thankful for the challenges that come your way... for when you practice this often enough, the challenges that you are facing will transform into something positive, something good. This helps your mind to put things into a different perspective... embrace each challenge, and you'll start to see the lessons you can learn from it, and you will be able to move on. This is also a part of what I call "Letting go" and you are actually allowing yourself to heal.

It takes time and effort to be able to count your blessings everyday. It's especially hard during times of troubles to be able to find joy in all things. It needs practice... lots of practice. But the peace and healing that you receive is so rewarding, it's really worth the energy that you put into it.

There are 2 things that I'd like to share: the poem below which helps to count your blessings and an article written by Ann Christi about Gratitude

Be thankful!

Be thankful that you don't already have everything you desire.
If you did, what would there be to look forward to?

Be thankful when you don't know something,
for it gives you the opportunity to learn.

Be thankful for the difficult times.
During those times you grow.

Be thankful for your limitations,
because they give you opportunities for improvement.

Be thankful for each new challenge,
because it will build your strength and character.

Be thankful for your mistakes.
They will teach you valuable lessons.

Be thankful when you're tired and weary,
because it means you've made a difference.

It's easy to be thankful for the good things.
A life of rich fulfillment comes to those who
are also thankful for the setbacks.

Gratitude can turn a negative into a positive.
Find a way to be thankful for your troubles,
and they can become your blessings.

Listen to your Inner Voice

2007-05-04T23:06:00.000+02:00

Busy with thoughts, actions and activities of day, processing each of them, we get so caught up that we forget to make room for ourselves... to listen... to listen to our inner voice. Lately, I've been more and more aware that I need to make room for this. The recent months have brought me closer to my inner self and the need to be make this connection stronger is increasing. This WisdomFlash reminds me to make the most out of my awareness and that I should let this grow.

YOUR INTUITIVE VOICE

Everyone has an inner voice... most people just ignore it. But it has a purpose. If you listen to that inner voice, you can leave fear and anxiety behind. You can be guided towards an experience of ease and flow; you can open up your eyes and ears and heart to new and wondrous things... just by listening. Can you hear it?

~ by Sonia Choquette ~

10 Rules for Being Human

2007-05-02T22:42:00.000+02:00

10 Rules for Being Human
by Cherie Carter-Scott

Rule One - You will receive a body.
Whether you love it or hate it, it’s yours for life, so accept it. What counts is what’s inside.

Rule Two - You will be presented with lessons.
Life is a constant learning experience, which every day provides opportunities for you to learn more. These lessons specific to you, and learning them ‘is the key to discovering and fulfilling the meaning and relevance of your own life’.

Rule Three - There are no mistakes, only lessons.
Your development towards wisdom is a process of experimentation, trial and error, so it’s inevitable things will not always go to plan or turn out how you’d want. Compassion is the remedy for harsh judgement - of ourselves and others. Forgiveness is not only divine - it’s also ‘the act of erasing an emotional debt’. Behaving ethically, with integrity, and with humour - especially the ability to laugh at yourself and your own mishaps - are central to the perspective that ‘mistakes’ are simply lessons we must learn.

Rule Four - The lesson is repeated until learned.
Lessons repeat until learned. What manifest as problems and challenges, irritations and frustrations are more lessons - they will repeat until you see them as such and learn from them. Your own awareness and your ability to change are requisites of executing this rule. Also fundamental is the acceptance that you are not a victim of fate or circumstance - ‘causality’ must be acknowledged; that is to say: things happen to you because of how you are and what you do. To blame anyone or anything else for your misfortunes is an escape and a denial; you yourself are responsible for you, and what happens to you. Patience is required - change doesn’t happen overnight, so give change time to happen.

Rule Five - Learning does not end.
While you are alive there are always lessons to be learned. Surrender to the ‘rhythm of life’, don’t struggle against it. Commit to the process of constant learning and change - be humble enough to always acknowledge your own weaknesses, and be flexible enough to adapt from what you may be accustomed to, because rigidity will deny you the freedom of new possibilities.

Rule Six - “There” is no better than “here”.
The other side of the hill may be greener than your own, but being there is not the key to endless happiness. Be grateful for and enjoy what you have, and where you are on your journey. Appreciate the abundance of what’s good in your life, rather than measure and amass things that do not actually lead to happiness. Living in the present helps you attain peace.

Rule Seven - Others are only mirrors of you.
You love or hate something about another person according to what love or hate about yourself. Be tolerant; accept others as they are, and strive for clarity of self-awareness; strive to truly understand and have an objective perception of your own self, your thoughts and feelings. Negative experiences are opportunities to heal the wounds that you carry. Support others, and by doing so you support yourself. Where you are unable to support others it is a sign that you are not adequately attending to your own needs.

Rule Eight - What you make of your life is up to you.
You have all the tools and resources you need. What you do with them is up to you. Take responsibility for yourself. Learn to let go when you cannot change things. Don’t get angry about things - bitter memories clutter your mind. Courage resides in all of us - use it when you need to do what’s right for you. We all possess a strong natural power and adventurous spirit, which you should draw on to embrace what lies ahead.

Rule Nine - Your answers lie inside of you.
Trust your instincts and your innermost feelings, whether you hear them as a little voice or a flash of inspiration. Listen to feelings as well as sounds. Look, listen, and trust. Draw on your natural inspiration.

Rule Ten - You will forget all this at birth.
We are all born with all of these capabilities - our early experiences lead us into a physical world, away from our spiritual selves, so that we become doubtful, cynical and lacking belief and confidence. The ten Rules are not commandments, they are universal truths that apply to us all. When you lose your way, call upon them. Have faith in the strength of your spirit. Aspire to be wise - wisdom the ultimate path of your life, and it knows no limits other than those you impose on yourself.

Do you hear me?

2007-05-01T18:11:00.000+02:00

Beautiful words that say so much...

a poem by Allison Chambers Coxsey

Strengthen your thoughts

2007-04-25T20:37:00.000+02:00

The Daily Motivator for today is so appropriate that it's worth a place here since it really fits my previous post...

Wednesday, April 25, 2007

Strengthen your thoughts

Your thoughts can work for you or they can work against you. Choose right now to hold those thoughts that work in your favor.

Choose the thoughts that give energy to your most cherished values and most treasured dreams. Choose thoughts that resonate with hope and love.

To hold a certain specific thought requires no physical effort, no special training and no permission from anyone else. Your thoughts are precisely what you allow them to be, as soon as you allow them to be.

And those thoughts set the stage for the way you experience life. They serve as a lens through which you see the world, and they control the way you respond to every situation.

When you develop a strong habit of filling your mind with positive, uplifting thoughts, you are well positioned to successfully meet the challenges that come your way. Empowering thoughts equip you to take effective and appropriate action.

Thoughts can come and go in an instant and have no physical dimensions, yet they exert enormous influence. Strengthen your thoughts and you strengthen your life.

-- Ralph Marston

One at a time

2007-04-25T19:39:00.000+02:00

There's so much going on right now, I feel like it's all chasing me by. I'm trying desperately to gain my shine back so that I'll be able to smile the whole day again... but it's really hard. I know I shouldn't waste my energy pondering on all the things that aren't going right. I should use the power to think of how good things will become.

After all, "Thoughts become things. So choose the good ones!"

The trick, however, lies in how to deal with the things that are happening right now. Settling each of them one at a time, I'm able to tick them, one by one, off my to-do list and by clearing these out, it will clear my mind. This is definitely a week full of action undertaking. But soon, my goal is by this weekend, things will settle down and I'll gain back my peace of mind.

Before I complete my next task for today, I am now going to sit back and enjoy the sun that has just reappeared before it settles down to sleep. Sunset is due in about an hour. So, I'm off to make peace, listen to nature calling and count my blessings.

Ten Secrets

2007-04-24T23:23:00.000+02:00

TEN SECRETS

You only have one life to live. You don't have time to become attached to anything! Live your passion, live your life: These are a few of the Secrets to Success. Everyone can become successful. There is enough room in the universe for EVERYONE to have what they want!

~ by Dr. Wayne Dyer ~

The true test of character

2007-04-24T21:41:00.000+02:00

“The true test of character is not how much we know how to do,
but how we behave when we don't know what to do.”
~ John Holt

Letting Go

2007-04-21T11:06:00.000+02:00

To let go
doesn't mean to stop caring;
it means I can't do it for someone else.

To let go
is not to cut myself off;
it's the realization that I can't control another.

To let go
is not to enable,
but to allow learning from natural consequences.

To let go
is to admit powerlessness,
which means the outcome is not in my hands.

To let go
is not to try to change or blame another;
I can change only myself.

To let go
is not to care for,
but to care about.

To let go
is not to fix,
but to be supportive.

To let go
is not to judge,
but to allow another to be a human being.

To let go
is not to be in the middle arranging all the outcomes,
but to allow others to affect their own outcomes.

To let go
is not to be protective;
it is to permit another to face reality.

To let go
is not to deny,
but to accept.

To let go
is not to adjust everything to my desires,
but to take each day as it comes and to cherish the moment.

To let go
is not to nag, scold, or argue,
but to search out my own shortcomings and to correct them.

To let go
is not to criticize and regulate anyone,
but to try to become what I dream I can be.

To let go
is not to regret the past,
but to grow and live for the future.

To let go
is to fear less and love more.

These are the instructions on how to let go...
Perhaps it is letting go of a rebellious child, or a burden of sorrow; losing a loved one, or learning to live with a heartache which we just cannot let go of.

Read this over...
STUDY IT... PRAY OVER IT...
and you will find that letting go of your load will release a peace within you which will allow your spirit to soar...
to be free...
to completely give it to God...
and let a work be done within you where the need is anyway

One step to spread my wings

2007-04-19T22:20:00.000+02:00

I had a meeting today to discuss about my ambitions and the opportunities at hand. It seems that this is the perfect season for career change. I made clear what I want and they will now be looking out for positions that might suit my expectations. I have now a job proposal which will be made open soon. I need to think about it, need to make a list of keywords what the job I want has to consist of. And to help the process move on, I am going for an ITIL certification.

Michele's Horoscope from Tarot.com:
You might be thinking about the possibility of an impossible love, but don't fall victim to your unrealistic fantasies. Even if you want to escape, you must remember that first there are things that you must do. Enjoying yourself in real life can minimize your dependence on fantasy, but don't run out on any promises you already made.

Your Number for Today: 6
Today is a lucky day for you, in which you're likely to experience progress in your career and/or finances. You feel a sense of closeness with relatives and friends, and an overall healing of the heart. Few things could be better.

Michele's Personal Hexagram:
5: Patience Thursday, April 19th, 2007
General Meaning: A fisherman can cast the line, but can only wait for the fish to bite. Your catch will come in its own time; you cannot make it come - neither by working nor by planning nor by wishing. You may need to provide nourishment for you and your loved ones; but only through patience can you become the bridge between the fickle fish and the eventual feast. Strength in a time of trial waits quietly, resolutely. Weakness grows agitated, and abandons the effort before the fish bite. Periods of waiting are most fruitful when used for quiet contemplation.

Proceed cautiously, but resolutely, with whatever you are doing. The situation calls for consistency and patience. Waiting is an essential skill; patience is a powerful force. Time is an ally of those with inner strength - the kind of strength which allows you to be uncompromisingly honest with yourself, while sticking to the path you have charted. If you persevere with a positive attitude, time weakens even the hardest obstacles. To rush anything, or impatiently force results, stimulates resistance and causes setbacks. At best, you achieve surface changes that may just as quickly be reversed. Steadfast waiting - holding to your integrity - leads to slow but permanent improvements. In the end, you accomplish something great. Practice patience.

Embrace the light

2007-04-18T22:19:00.000+02:00

Yesterday afternoon and evening, I took myself to a place to find my peace. I felt the wind rushing by me, watched and listened to the water beat against the rocks, watched the sun trying to break through the grey clouds and won, the bird that hung low and still in the air searching for food, watched the puffy clouds slowly pass by. The calmness began to fill within me. But I knew my mind was still not at peace. Today, I woke up fresh and did what I had to do and drove to work. On the way, I told myself to look again to the sky. The sun was shining, I pushed an old cd in and started singing my heart out. And while I was doing that, I felt I was letting it go. And it all started to hit me. Lightbulbs started turning on. A moment of enlightenments. Then I realised that lately, I've forgotten to count my blessings, and now that I remember, I choose to do that. I realise I need that.

As the day went by, I kept on getting insights and I felt my power. Most of the insights came to me while I was talking to my mirror soul. And the next flow came while I was driving home. A sense of inspiration filled my every being and I wasn't ready to go home yet. So, I took myself to a place where I stood in awe at the divine beauty and became one with it. I started to count my blessings of the day and I felt the warmth, comfort and serenity slowly filling me...

Blessing of the day, originally uploaded by ! Webbielinker.

This is what my horoscopes and messages state for today and once again, my sources are right:

Tarot.com
Michele's Horoscope:
You have a strong inner resolve that you can rely on now -- no matter what is happening in your outer life. Life is changing quickly, but you might not yet fully understand how. Don't worry about being left out; just let go of those things that stand between you and your success. Don't try to stop the process. Room is being made for new opportunities that will soon enter your life.

Californiapsychics.com
Sagittarius November 22 - December 21
Wednesday, April 18, 2007
If it seems like there's a lot going on today, just remember to remain quick on your feet. Don't waste your time worrying about what others are doing. Just keep your own goals clearly in focus, but don't hesitate to remind people of your accomplishments. If you stick up for yourself, you're bound to get the support of others right now.

A Note from the Universe
Avoiding something, Michele, draws it ever near.

Defending yourself, can become a full time job. And worrying about things that might never happen, increases their chances of happening. Yet still, you are 10,000 times more likely to laugh than cry, be healthy than sick, live rich than poor, have friends than be alone. That's the kind of momentum you've garnered through countless lives of love; that's the kind of power you long ago learned to master, and, quite frankly, those were the odds you negotiated. You're just another part of me -
The Universe

Michele's Personal Hexagram from Tarot.com:
4: Youthful Folly
Wednesday, April 18th, 2007
General Meaning: Be on guard for careless or rebellious attitudes characteristic of youthful inexperience. Just as a youth requires instruction, this is a good time to focus on learning your lessons from a patient teacher or life experience. Is there a circumstance in your life, which you have failed to comprehend completely, perhaps because you have failed to appreciate its inherent complexities? Be respectful of anything or anyone who has something to teach you right now.

In order to be ready for challenging times, let education be a continuing part of your life. Be continually developing the strong mind and will necessary to carry one through confusing times. The wise realize that experience, especially difficult experience, is a powerful teacher. But we cannot be forced to learn, even from experience. Be a good student, one who delights in learning, one who nourishes his or her expanding awareness.

Examine your attitude for factors which limit your openness. Observe how you deal with the mistakes of others. You must let people live their own lives and learn their own lessons. Offer others your wisdom or advice, but only if they are receptive. Otherwise, give up trying to convince them that you are right - that is only exhausting and counter-productive. If people are not receptive, let them proceed - even into difficulty or dangerous circumstances. It is the only way they can learn - and without learning, no one can achieve success. This does not mean that you should not care -- just that taking care of someone too much can be harmful. Live and let learn.

The Daily Motivator, Greatday.com
Wednesday, April 18, 2007

Embrace the responsibility
It is not anyone else's job to make you happy or fulfilled. What you choose to be is what matters.

When life is not going your way, there is nothing of value to be gained by looking for someone to blame. Instead, move beyond what has already happened and get busy exploring the positive possibilities available to you.

If you experience a disappointment or even a serious setback, that is no reason to give up hope. Though life is certainly not perfect, you are completely capable of moving forward no matter what may have happened before.

Happiness will come to you when it comes from you. Success will be yours when you choose to take responsibility for making it so. Instead of obsessing over who might have hurt you or why or how, decide to get on with life.

Instead of putting your energy into resentment, put that energy into creating meaningful greatness.

Your life is yours to live. Embrace the responsibility and all that goes with it, and your days will be filled with true richness. -- Ralph Marston

Out with the old, in with the new

2007-04-17T19:36:00.000+02:00

I know what I am, where I am, and I realise that whatever is happening at this moment is what I really don't need in my life right now. I don't see it's purpose. My mobile inbox is now empty, nothing there now to be confronted with. I am ready for fresh new things.

My horoscope for today feels true:

Sagittarius (Nov 22 - Dec 21)
Your motives are revealed now, yet you don't necessarily feel vulnerable. Actually, you truly want others to know who you are and what you are doing. You think that by demonstrating your openness, you will make your position more acceptable to them. You might not convince anyone of the merits of your ideas, but at least they will know where you stand.

Trying so hard to listen

2007-04-16T23:59:00.000+02:00

I am so emotionally drained right now.... all this pain and it hurts even more than I expected.

Sagittarius
Monday, April 16, 2007
Try to let your loved ones know just how deeply interested you are in all their thoughts and feelings today, and remember to be open-minded rather than judgmental right now. Make understanding others your goal and just watch how people will warm up to you. You can achieve the most right now by learning to be a more sympathetic listener.

I have no idea if I've achieved what was set up for me today. All I know is that inside of me, I just needed to write this:

There's still so much to say....
right now, I'm so emotionally drained...
and yet the tears won't stop and the emotions won't go away
and I only just realised that if I let go,
I'm doing something which I shouldn't be doing....
but I can't help it, coz it unconditional love that leads me

As you can see, I'm not really able to write complete sentences right now..
but something just led me to write this to you...
maybe I'll be able to explain
if there comes a time
when you can see this through my eyes,
the windows to my soul...

Reason, Season, Lifetime

2007-04-16T23:14:00.000+02:00

It's been a rather heavy day, mentally and spiritually...

between the first sentence above and as I am writing this second sentence there's a time space of one hour and alot has happened. Right now, I've just come back from an intense conversation and experience. There is so much to digest right now, all I have heard and said. Trying so hard to listen intensely to what was said to me.... trying so hard to listen to the words, the heart, the spirit...

I sent this poem by Brian A. "Drew" Chalker an hour ago and suddenly this is now so relevant to what has just happened....

People always come into your life for a reason, a season and a lifetime. When you figure out which it is, you know exactly what to do.

When someone is in your life for a REASON, it is usually to meet a need you have expressed outwardly or inwardly. They have come to assist you through a difficulty, or to provide you with guidance and support, to aid you physically, emotionally, or even spiritually. They may seem like a godsend to you, and they are. They are there for a reason, you need them to be. Then, without any wrong doing on your part or at an inconvenient time, this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end. Sometimes they die, Sometimes they just walk away. Sometimes they act up or out and force you to take a stand. What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled; their work is done. The prayer you sent up has been answered and it is now time to move on.

When people come into your life for a SEASON, it is because your turn has come to share, grow, or learn. They may bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh. They may teach you something you have never done. They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy. Believe it! It is real! But, only for a season. And like Spring turns to Summer and Summer to Fall, the season eventually ends.

LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons: things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation. Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person, and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life. It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant.

Thank you for being a part of my life, whether you were a reason, a season or a lifetime.

Who are your allies?

2007-04-15T12:55:00.000+02:00

Reading up about the inner circle, I stumbled across this article with a list of Vital Friends which I would like to have here as a personal reference.

EIGHT VITAL ALLIES

BUILDER motivate you, help you see your strengths and advise you on how best to use them and are generous with their time.

CHAMPION stand up for you and your beliefs and they praise you to everyone else they know.

COLLABORATOR are friends with similar interests, those with whom you are most likely to spend your time.

CONNECTOR get to know you and then instantly work to connect you with others who will share your interests or goals.

ENERGISER is fun, cheers you up when you're down and always available to boost your spirits.

MIND-OPENER stretch your viewpoint, introduce you to new ideas, opportunities, culture.

NAVIGATOR is the one you seek out when you need guidance and counsel; they're great at talking through your options.

COMPANION is the first person you call, with good news or bad. They are always there for you.

From 'Vital Friends' by Tom Rath, 1 August, Gallup Press

My first tee

2007-04-14T23:27:00.001+02:00

"Golf is a game in which you yell 'fore', shoot six, and write down five."
— Paul Harvey

A beautiful warm sunny day and I was ready for an adventure, something really new, something I'd never done before. Believe it or not, I spent the afternoon on a golf course for the very first time. I always thought I'd never like it or better said, get easily bored. Well, surprisingly, it was really fun! Of course, this could be due to the fact that this was my first time. However, I must admit that we didn't do too bad at all, especially for amateurs who only had a short half hour worth of instructions including practice shots before we hit the course! We played a round of 9 holes en both of us lost our first ball at 6th hole (a water hole). Mine landed in the water, the other landed some place and curiously enough, it went invisible :-)

Just let your highest ideals guide you

2007-04-13T23:59:00.000+02:00

Could this be an advice that I should take heed?

Friday, April 13th, 2007 PST,
Sagittarius (Nov 22 - Dec 21)
Your power may be engaged during the week, but it may be inappropriate to just put your feelings out there. It's important that you find an acceptable way to get things moving. Don't worry if you don't know what the outcome will be. Just let your highest ideals guide you through the process. In the end, it's your integrity that will have the most impact on your happiness.

A first step to change

2007-04-11T18:18:00.000+02:00

The time has arrived.... a time for changes. And before change takes place, actions need to be taken.

The past weekend has certainly been one of deep spiritual enlightenment for me. And it has been a very long time since the last time this occured. It started off with watching the movie The Secret. In there they say "ask and you shall receive"... the Universe will answer. And didn't I read that exact phrase in the Bible a long long time ago? Seems like I've forgotten this for many years. It's amazing how caught up you get in daily happenings and challenges that you easily forget the basic essentials in life. The whole movie is based on the Law of Attraction. The Secret actually is in front of our faces all the time and through this movie I was confronted with it visually: "Remember, it still exists!"

Like they said in the movie, it's not about wishful thinking, basically when you know what you want, ask for it, keep your focus, and eventually you will receive. And by keeping your focus, you take steps and actions and when necessary, eliminate disturbing factors. It's basically a simple truth. Even Tarot.com says the same about the movie:

"Having a clear vision of what you want and where you are going will help you stay on track (which is what the hit DVD The Secret is about). But you still have to make the right moves at the right time!"

It all just sounds too familiar, doesn't it? I know there's a voice saying right now, "Oh! I knew that already! Nothing new!" Then why do we forget this so easily? How come most of us are leading such scattered lives?
Well, don't ponder on the whys, but clear your mind, visualize what you want and get your ass back on track! And that fellow souls, was the first message I received this weekend.

There were many more messages given to me this weekend but for now, for this post, I'll just write the ones that were clearest, most apparent and most related to the first message.

A second spiritual event brought me closer to my deepest soul. Usually I'm very sceptic about spiritual conventions, mediums and everything surrounding it. In fact, I think a lot of this scepticism within all of us is conceived by a number of things. Such as the fear of bad mediums who take advantage to make a profit, and this results in distrust. Another thing is the fear of the unknown or fear of things which our logical mind cannot comprehend.... for what we cannot see or touch or prove, we tend to whiff it off easily as fantasy, ridiculous, nonsense. Notice that the word "fear" keeps coming back?

Fear is a negative energy right? What if you make use of this energy and turn this into positive energy instead? Haven't got a clue how? Well, to help you on a little bit, here's a simple question: What is the opposite (word) of fear? The answer is: Courage! And wouldn't you agree that the word courage sounds more positive in your ears?

So with this in me, I went to this this convention, this time armed with a goal too. And my little goal was to have an aura photo taken. Now I've got my affirmations of things I've sensed for a long time and it's now in the visual form of a photo. Even the things a very special soul also recently told me about me not being alone was confirmed by this. Now, the explanation that the medium provided me was also profound insight. Everything she told me about my spirituality was so true that I did not need to rectify at all... all I could do was only confirm.

It amazed me that without me giving her any info whatsoever, yet she told me things that were solely affirmable, and this solely based on my aura. Of course, I did a check on the meanings of the aura colours when I got home... just to be sure that she was interpreting it all just as it's written everywhere. And yes, her interpretation of the colours are one and the same. She gave me messages and advice, which I now do take to heed coz the warnings that she also gave are not unknown to me... I've already sensed these before I met her. She also told me about change and actions, and how that related to my spiritual guides. "Although you have them to help you with what you seek, you need to take steps." This was my second message.

I received my third message during a palm reading. "Communicate properly with him, be clear about what you want. When you don't do this, you will attract people, who are vague on what they want, into your life. Do something about it. It's time to communicate... time for new things... time for change... time for a new life."

And guess what? Today, I've made a start... I've taken a first step of action, a first step of communication and a first step of change.... I've only scratched the surface but it is a beginning. And now I feel a sense of peace for today, my inner senses tell me I'm on the right track. And somehow, believe it or not, it's amazing but true, my numerology and even my hexagram at Tarot.com for today affirms all this. Here they are as I read them when I came home:

Michele's Daily Number: 7
You may find yourself wanting to withdraw from the world today to engage in some self-reflection. You're curious about the world and feel a heightened sense of your own purpose. Trust your instincts today, and deal with bottled up feelings.

Today's Hexagram Wednesday, April 11th, 2007
61 Centering in Truth
Truth involves establishing an aware relationship between your inner core and the circumstances in your life. Centering in truth involves the ability to perceive a fundamental wisdom, reflected within yourself - and also in others.

Truth is transformed into power when you disperse all prejudice and make yourself receptive to the world as it really is. This power can be a remarkable force indeed - yet is rarer than generally imagined. It can be maintained only by cultivating a genuine openness to things as they are - a willingness to see, rather than merely look.

Whenever your inner life is clouded, your influence in the world is under a shadow. If you are fearful, you will be attacked; if you cloak genuine mysteries in dogma, opportunities for new insight will be lost. If you vacillate in upholding your principles, you will be tested. Yet, when you are firm and strong, the power of truth can break through even the most stubborn minds.

In any debate, the power to perceive the truth in the other side's argument is essential to achieving success. It is possible to influence even the most difficult people, or improve the most difficult circumstance, through the power of universal truth - for truth is something to which all things naturally respond. Get in touch with that part of yourself that is aware of this universal force of truth. Cultivate this inner resource, and you will become adept at using it to bind others to a common purpose.

And this horoscope from Astrology.com:

Daily Extended Horoscope April 11, 2007
If you want to impress someone, today is a great day to finally show off exactly what you're made of. Go for a direct approach. Just plant yourself in front of this person, and say what you need to say. Your message will be heard loud and clear, in part because you are bold enough to present yourself as someone who deserves (and demands) to be appreciated and respected.

Just a coincidence? Well, like it or not, for me, this is a summary and affirmation of today. Makes me feel like I am on the right track. And today's Note from the Universe is now my current inspiration:

You just take care of "A," Michele, expecting everything else to fall into place, and I'll take care of the rest of the alphabet.

2007-03-27T20:57:00.000+02:00

Your EQ is 160

50 or less: Thanks for answering honestly. Now get yourself a shrink, quick!
51-70: When it comes to understanding human emotions, you'd have better luck understanding Chinese.
71-90: You've got more emotional intelligence than the average frat boy. Barely.
91-110: You're average. It's easy to predict how you'll react to things. But anyone could have guessed that.
111-130: You usually have it going on emotionally, but roadblocks tend to land you on your butt.
131-150: You are remarkable when it comes to relating with others. Only the biggest losers get under your skin.
150+: Two possibilities - you've either out "Dr. Phil-ed" Dr. Phil... or you're a dirty liar.

What's Your EQ (Emotional Intelligence Quotient)?

Awaken

2007-03-19T21:24:00.000+01:00

Awaken

by Ralph S. Marston, Jr.

In your life
A new day is dawning
Awaken and touch the beauty

Wherever you've come from
Whatever you've been
New possibilities beckon
Right here and now
Awaken and make them real

There was a time when you held in your heart
The most magnificent of dreams
A time when life seemed to carry
Endless promises and possibilities

Those dreams are still with you
Awaken and bring them to life

What you long for
Is longing for you
What you dream of
Is what you are meant to create

The doubts you have exist only in your mind
The anxieties that seem so burdensome are of your own making
Now is the moment to awaken,
and allow those doubts to melt away

Awaken, and dive deeply into the beauty of this moment
Allow your spirit to fully experience the richness of it all

Awaken
Allow peace to fill you completely
Let it touch your deepest longings
Let it bring those longings to life
Your most treasured possibilities are real,
If you will simply let them live through you

Awaken to this moment, and life begins anew
Reach inside, and allow
your most treasured
dreams to awaken with you
Into a bright and shining new day

Remind yourself again and again
Of how beautiful life can be
Remind yourself again and again
That you can make it so

Awaken
Step boldly and lovingly forward
Into this day

You've already come
So very far

You're stronger, more experienced
and more determined than ever
To fulfill those longings
That tell you who you are

Now is your moment to create real meaning
Now is your moment to awaken
And to truly and fully live

The Secret To You....

2007-03-18T10:39:00.000+01:00

Each day brings new blessings, it's important to live the moments that come during your day. Stop and enjoy the simple joys in life... just live the moment... let go of all your anxieties... free your spirit... and you will find peace... and comfort comes to your heart.

I remind myself each day to count my blessings... and the challenges of the day start to fade....
it makes life so much easier and makes you feel more at peace.

Enjoy simple things of the day.... starting off for example with just walking in the sun.... enjoy the breeze brushing against your face... the warmth that touches your skin, the chirping of a bird passing by, the rustle of the leaves.... even enjoy a rainy day.... or when you see a kid laffing... or crying
it really doesn't matter.... see beauty in all that is around you...
breathe in the beauty around you,
the beauty and richness of being alive

it's a struggle at first to appreciate them.
But when you actually focus on those, the rest just slips away... slowly...

and you will find that it releases your spirit
and the more often you do it, the easier and longer it lasts.

there are joys and there are sorrows... live them, experience them, it means you are alive! Discover your lessons in life... grow from them...

your spirit grows, you gain wisdom and strength...
and as your spirit grows, the more positive energy surrounds you...
and the more you release that into the universe, the more positive things come into your life.

Here's a special message... The Secret to You...

Today is the beginning of my new life
I am starting over today
All good things are coming to me today
I am grateful to be alive
I see beauty all around me
I live with passion and purpose
I take time to laugh and play every day
I am awake, energized and alive
I focus on all the good things in life
And give thanks for them
I am at peace and one with everything
I feel the love, the joy, the abundance
I am free to be myself
I am magnificence in human form
I am the perfection of life
I am grateful to be...ME
Today is the best day of my life

Freeing Hayley, chapter 3

2007-01-28T17:08:00.004+01:00

Gear up

It's late and she's been driving for an hour now, but she had to get something to eat and decided to drive on after all. She reaches the mall and is just about to step out of the car when her hand phone starts to ring.

"My, my, howdy stranger!"
"Hi Hayley, I'm on my way to my brother's house and was thinking of you, so I dialled."
"Well, I'm glad you called, Aiden, I've been wondering how you were. And coincidentally I've been trying to reach you today", Hayley leans back on her car....
"Yeah, I saw that... how have you been girl?"
"I'm good, so hey! When are we going for that ride like you promised?"

Aiden got his new car this week and last year he'd promised Hayley a spin in it. Maybe even a trip to Germany just for fun. Each time she saw Aiden, he always reminded her of a 'golden boy'.... Aiden's a tall, sleek, youthful looking guy with dark blond hair and bright blue eyes. "Quite handsome actually", she thinks while she's listening to him.
"Some day soon, girl, first I have to work this car up and build up the mileage slowly. When this monster's ready for speed, I'll call you and we'll blast the highways."
"Cool! I can't wait!"

While she's standing there in the cold talking to Aiden, she realizes she really enjoys her conversations with him. One cold November evening last year, when they both happened to be working the late shift, they were standing out on the terrace having a smoke. Talking about his trip to New York next weekend and the conversation started to get deeper involving past relationships. They exchanged talk about their experiences and principles. Since that day, Hayley and Aiden have been keeping in touch, even though he'd left for a new job elsewhere.

Aiden goes on to tell her about his new job and his plans for the weekend.
"Hey Hayley, I've reached my destination now, so I'll call you soon, alright?"
"You'd better! I'll see you soon yeah?"

Hayley locks up her car and heads on to the supermarket to get her groceries....

As quickly as the weekdays pass, so does the weekend. It's now Monday, and Hayley's dreading the thought of going to the doctor tomorrow. It'll be just a small surgery but she knows she's going to have problems walking for the rest of the week. Her main concern now is how she is going to drive home from the doctor's. She stares blankly at the screen. Rain pulls up next to her and whispers, "Hey, have you heard anything from Carl yet? Did he send you any text messages?"
Hayley shrugs, "No, nothing as yet. Why?"
"Just curious."
"Well, I don't know what's up with that either"
"Hmm... we'll see..."

Hayley's about to leave for her doctor's appointment. She packs up her stuff. Rain looks up and whispers, "Hey, is Justin still not here?"
"Hmm... No idea, maybe he is but somewhere else and too busy. We'll see..."
She's more concerned of the surgery right now.

"Oh my god, this was more painful than I thought!" Hayley was having a tough time trying to drive home. Her toe was bandaged and that couldn't fit into her shoe, so she was driving with sandals on. But each and every time she had to change gear, her toe hurt like hell.

She almost fainted at the doctor's, the pain was apparently more than she expected. Her ears started ringing and within a few minutes, she couldn't hear a thing. Her ears blocked up and she felt dizzy. The doctor made her lie down for a while and gave her some water to rejuvenate.

Now Hayley's home and resting her foot up just like her doctor told her to. She decides to call Rain and tells him she isn't sure if she'll be able to come in tomorrow. With the way things are looking right now, it didn't look good. She hangs up, takes a pill and goes to bed.

Something’s buzzing somewhere far away, but the buzz seems to be coming nearer and nearer. “Oh! Too loud! It’s time to wake up, Hayley.” She drags herself out of bed, stumbling on her feet and feels an odd throbbing on her left toe. She remembers now, her toe. She slumps on the couch, trying to decide what she should do. “I don’t know if I even have shoes to fit in,” she sighs while she lights up a cigarette and takes a draw. She takes a good sip of her coffee, gets up and pulls all her shoes out of the closet. “This one won’t do… Nope, that neither… Maybe this…” Finally, she finds a pair of sturdy dark blue boots which ordinarily was one size too big for her. “I’m so glad I didn’t throw these away” She slips her left feet in and “Yes, this one fits!”

“Okay, so which outfit is going to fit now?” Hayley actually wanted to look good today, but how to accomplish that with these boots? “No choice”, she decides on a brown top and a pair of jeans. It’s already a quarter to 8 and she’s not ready yet. Hayley dials her manager’s number and he agrees that she should leave the house only after the rush hour has passed. That leaves her at least one and a half hours more to slowly get ready for work.

As the day passes, Rain is getting more and more curious. He scoots on over next to her and on a surprised note he says, “Hayley, hey, isn’t he here today?”
“I don’t know, Rain. We’ll see him whenever….” She kicks off her slippers and puts on her boots. It’s just after lunch and she desperately needs a smoke.
Tyrone calls out to her, “Hey, you planning for a smoke?”
“Yeah, you coming?”

Talking and laughing, on their way back, she suddenly notices Justin, who’s peering up at them while sipping on a cup of coffee. He’s standing at a coffee corner waiting for some people.
When she sees Rain, she walks over to him and whispers, “Justin’s in the building. He’s standing there. I think he’s in a meeting.”
Rain looks out, “Yeah! I see him! Well, how come he doesn’t come and say hi or even send you a note?”
“Maybe he’s too busy, dear. He is, after all, in a meeting right now,” she replied, surprised at his concern.
Rain just couldn’t shake it off. “Yet, I still wonder…”

Freeing Hayley, chapter 2

2007-01-28T12:43:00.000+01:00

Can't seem to stop writing... the creative juice is still running thru me... am considering to actually set up a separate blog for this story once the number of chapters tends to increase.... oh well, we'll cross that bridge when we come to it. For the moment, enjoy this and feel free to comment if you have any.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Veni, vidi, vici

"Oh man! Out with the daily report," and she hits on 'Send'. Hayley has been so caught up with handling emails the past hour but her work day is almost coming to an end. She checks her inbox one last time and notices a mail arrived some time ago.

She looks at the sender name, "Oh! It's from Justin!" Curious, she reads on.
He mentions that she's got just 15 minutes till her work day is over. She looks at the clock; it's already 5 to 7. He tells her he'd decided to do some work after dinner, and signs off wishing her a good evening and a "It was really nice talking to you this afternoon"

Hayley knew there was a slight traffic jam en route and decides to write a quick reply, "It's 19:00 hrs but sadly, there's a small traffic jam going on... I'm still leaving the office though. It was certainly great talking to you and we can always catch up again sometime... if you're able to get hold of a focus room at our department again, that is." She smiles to herself, thinking this is certainly a good way to open the door a little further.

At the same time, she's flattered that she's obviously left such an impression on him that afternoon. Apparently, she was still so much in his thoughts, so much so, that he just couldn't help himself but send her an email from home. Amused, she quickly rereads her reply, closes her eyes and hits on 'Send', then she packs up her stuff and leaves the office.

Driving back, her heart is light and Hayley realises that it's been a long time since she has felt really good inside. She feels great relief... she is finally happy again. Just the way things are going with her life right now... she's still enjoying her work, her financial status is looking a little more healthier now, she seems to be currently having a positive aura surrounding her... all these seem to prove that she's moving forward. With the radio turned up, she smiles to herself and carries on with her journey home.

Next morning, she checks her mail as usual. Among the long list of emails, there's another mail from Justin waiting to be read. He expresses compassion for the fact that it must be a drag that though she leaves the office late, yet she'd still be caught in a traffic jam. "I hope it won't be a long one. And yes, we will have a pleasant conversation again soon. However, it'll be quite a while before we have the next chance," and he informs her about his schedule for the coming three days. "By the time you read this, it'll be morning for you and so I leave wishing you a good morning and have a good day".

"Ok... so he's letting me know that we'll probably meet up again on Tuesday or so...but we'll see how this goes, I'm having no high expectations of this... I've learned my lessons in the past."

Hayley's excited to show Rain the mails though...
"Hmmm, if I were you, I'd go for it!” Rain says after reading.
Hayley ponders, "He does show his enthusiasm and interest... But this is all still too new! And we're just friendly at the moment. Let's just see how this moves on. I'm going to take this cool.... I made my move yesterday, let's see whether he'll make the next move and if he does, we'll see what kind of move that'll be."

"But do you like him?" Rain searches her eyes for the truth.
"I've just got to talk to him yesterday! Okay he does seem nice, he's not good looking but he does have certain flair about him... something charming.... so, I guess, yeah I'd like to get to know him better..."
And just as those words came out of her mouth, a flash of thought popped into her mind, "Damn! I forgot to pay attention whether he's wearing a ring!"

For this answer, Hayley has to be patient and next time, pay proper attention to that.... that is, if she sees him again...

Freeing Hayley, chapter 1

2007-01-28T09:22:00.000+01:00

I'm feeling a creative flow today and decided to try a hand at writing. I've always had intentions to write a book someday... so here and now, a first chapter, written during a lazy winter Sunday morning... hope you enjoy it...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

When one door closes, another opens

"Just three more days at work and it's weekend," convincingly she tells herself as she lays her handbag on her desk. Only two days ago, Hayley was enjoying her Monday with her sister Lisa in Amsterdam. They were joined in the afternoon by Carl and Roy, two guys who they had gotten to know at the party the evening before. At the party, Lisa had made it her personal mission to introduce Hayley to as many potential guys as possible. Hayley has been single for a year now, which is actually something very unusual. After her last dramatic break-up, she wasn't quite ready for a serious relationship just as yet. However, a flirtatious adventure did seem fun, so Hayley was game.

Rain, her colleague, was already busy talking to clients on the phone when Hayley came in. She has the late shift this week but she didn't mind, it was so much better than getting caught in traffic jams. As she settled in and got on with her work, she was pleased with the current state of mind she was in. She felt she was open again for new adventures and she knew now in her heart that that meant something really good. It meant that she had finally succeeded in closing the chapter.

As she was talking on the phone, the corner of her eye catches a glimpse of someone walking past her desk and Hayley suddenly feels compelled to look up. As she looks up, their eyes lock for a brief moment and he greets her with a warm smile. She returns a smile and continues talking to her client. She was used to this gesture at work after all. The past months, there have been guys who regularly greet her with a smile each time they see her. It's flattering and kind of bucks up her confidence in her own sex appeal. "Yep, I've still got it", Hayley thinks to herself but thinks nothing more of it.

Today however, mystery guy was being pulled away often from his focus room, by his colleague. And each time he walks past Hayley's desk, mystery guy keeps his gaze locked on Hayley, trying to get her to look up from whatever she was doing. And whenever she finally looks up, he gives her a warm smile. After some time, this attention pull begins to become more than obvious to Hayley.
"This guy actually always does this every time he sees me, for many months now, whenever he gets a room here..." She turns to Rain and shares this thought with him.
Rain's eyes lights up, "Maybe he likes you!"

When mystery guy does the very same thing again, being pulled once again from his focus room, Hayley says teasingly to him, "You seem to be very popular today! It seems that colleague of yours can't do without you"
Mystery guy smiles and says blushingly, "Yeah, it does seem like it, doesn't it?"
All this, of course, doesn't get unnoticed by Rain. He turns to Hayley and enjoyingly says, "Oh my god! Look at that guy blush! He must really like you girl!"
Hayley smiles and thinks, "Hmm... Maybe you're right.... but I don't even know his name..."
She turns back to her screen and carries on with her work.

Hayley was trying to book seats for a show which she was planning to go to with Rain. She printed out a seating plan and went to get the printout. As she walks back to her desk she feels again this attention pull coming from her right. Mystery guy was sitting in the room and was smiling at her. She thought, "Hell, why not?"

With the print out in her left hand, she opens the glass door with her right, and enters the room with a soft smile on her face, "Gosh, you finally able to work peacefully?"
His face lights up with a warm welcome in his eyes, "Yes, they were constantly pulling me into a meeting which I didn't want to take part in. But they couldn't decide and needed my advice..." Amused with his facial reaction, her intuition told her he was glad that she had taken the initiative to strike up a conversation with him. Hayley stands next to the desk and they talk for some time, light chit chat and her preferred working hours to miss the jams.

He asks curiously, "So, what do you do here? You always seem to be very busy on the phone." Hayley says smiling, "Oh, brain-dead work...." and rolls her eyes. He seems amused at the word play and chuckles. She looks at him, "But it's a relaxing job which I feel is good for me temporarily. I am planning to get back to my actual line of work, though." Hayley sees his eyes have an inquisitive look in them and she tells him about her previous job. He listens to her with interest and when she finishes her sentence, he looks into her eyes and says, "Well, if you feel it's time for a new job, let me know and maybe I can help out. I often hear about openings within this company... even outside..."
Hayley teasingly says, "Ah, so I need to stay friends with you!"
With a broad smile, he replies, "Yes, you should... you should ALWAYS keep me as a friend!" Hayley laughs jokingly with him but she can't help but feel that he was trying to tell her something with a deeper meaning.

She stands leaning back elegantly on the wall behind her, taking care not to slouch. Wearing a short black skirt with knee high boots, she thanked god that she chose that outfit that morning. Standing there, secretly she knew that she was looking good that day. While she's unconsciously and nervously rolling the printout, he continues, "I have a broad network and usually hear all sorts of job openings everywhere. So, if you're looking send me a mail to let me know."
Hearing those words, Hayley ceased her opportunity this time, "I don't even know your name! To send you an email, I do need to know your name..."
He smiles, "Justin"
"Well, I also need to know your last name..." he then shows her his badge, "and what's yours?" She pulls herself away from her little comfort zone, the wall, takes a small step forward and reaches for her badge which was hanging from her right hip. He leans forward and she says, "It's Hayley."

Feeling a little bit awkward now, she decides she should retreat, "Now that we've exchanged names, it's time for me to get back to my desk... I've been away longer than I should and before the guys start to wonder and get curious about my whereabouts, I'll make a move now, if you don't mind" With those words, Hayley turns slightly to the door. She notices a slight disappointment in his eyes but he smiles and says, "Okay, it was nice having you here and talking to you. Remember; let me know when you feel you're ready to look for a different job."

With one hand on the door, Hayley smiles warmly, "Yes, thanks Justin, I'll certainly keep that in mind. I'll let you know sometime..." She closes the door softly behind her and when she's sure that he's not able to see her face, she blushes... Taking care to walk with a straight posture, she walks back to her desk, lets out a soft sigh and nestles back into her chair. Rain turns to her and with curiosity burning in his eyes, wants to hear it all....

I Wish You Enough

2006-04-28T23:43:00.000+02:00

I received this from a friend and it's really sweet and worth thinking about....

Recently I overheard a mother and daughter in their last moments together at the airport. They had announced the departure.

Standing near the security gate, they hugged and the mother said, "I love you and I wish you enough"!
The daughter replied, "Mom, our life together has been more than enough.. Your love is all I ever needed. I wish you enough, too, Mom".

They kissed and the daughter left. The mother walked over to the window where I was seated. Standing there I could see she wanted and needed to cry.

I tried not to intrude on her privacy but she welcomed me in by asking, "Did you ever say good-bye to someone knowing it would be forever?".

"Yes, I have," I replied. "Forgive me for asking, but why is this a forever good-bye?".

"I am old and she lives so far away. I have challenges ahead and the reality is - the next trip back will be for my funeral," she said.

"When you were saying good-bye, I heard you say, 'I wish you enough'. May I ask what that means?".

She began to smile. "That's a wish that has been handed down from other generations. My parents used to say it to everyone". She paused a moment and looked up as if trying to remember it in detail and she smiled even more.

"When we said, 'I wish you enough', we are wanting the other person to have a life filled with just enough good things to sustain them".

Then turning toward me, she shared the following as if she were reciting it from memory.

I wish you enough sun to keep your attitude bright.
I wish you enough rain to appreciate the sun more.
I wish you enough happiness to keep your spirit alive.
I wish you enough pain so that the smallest joys in life appear much bigger.
I wish you enough gain to satisfy your wanting.
I wish you enough loss to appreciate all that you possess.
I wish you enough hellos to get you through the final good-bye.

She then began to cry and walked away.

They say it takes a minute to find a special person, an hour to appreciate them, a day to love them, but then an entire life to forget them.

TAKE TIME TO LIVE.....TAKE TIME TO TRULY LOVE

To all my friends and loved ones,

I WISH YOU ENOUGH

2006-04-28T23:37:00.001+02:00

"A real friend is someone who walks in
when the rest of the world walks out."

Absolute Trivia

2006-04-25T16:16:00.000+02:00

I received this from Jon:

On Thursday 4th May next month, at two minutes and three seconds after 1:00 in the morning, the time and date will be 01:02:03 04/05/06.

That won't ever happen again.

You may now return to your (normal?) life - as you know it.

The Asian way

2006-04-24T18:08:00.000+02:00

After spending the afternoon at the Bazaar, we were at P's house yesterday evening, eating, drinking and talking.... about everything and nothing.... I can't remember how it began but J. was telling us about the situation at home. They have been living without electricity and gas since Wednesday and fact of the matter is how disfunctional his dad has become.

He was saying that for now, his duty is to take care of things. A heavy burden, as no one else is corporative and no one seems to be appreciative... he is intent on getting his own place as soon as possible so that he will be free to take care of his own life and other responsibilties.

At that point, P. said, "What is the use of doing all this for him while your dad doesn't even try to help himself at all?.. Why do you continue?"

" coz it's my duty... at least until I am out of that house. That is why I want to have my own house..."

"duty??? Why is it your duty?"

"it's the Asian way.... it's my duty to take care of my dad. but soon I'm going to stop that because I have done enough."

"Hello, it is the parents that have the duty to take care of the child, not the other way round. When you decide to make a child, you decide to take the responsibility of everything for this child. And how far does your duty as a child extend? Does it have to be that you give up your own happiness and life for your parents'? "

"I am doing this only for now because for one, it is what we asians have to do. And the other thing is that, when I am out of there and when I wash my hands off this matter, I can say that at least I have already done what I could. If I did nothing now, then I would have guilt and regret. So you see, now that I have done what an asian child is expected of, later when I stop taking care of him, I can safely feel that I do not have to feel guilty of anything."

J. does have a good point there.... to have peace of mind, we must try avoid doing things that we might regret later in our life. But P. also has a good point, to what extent is the duty of an asian child towards his/her parents? Is it our duty that we must give up our own personal dreams, hopes or whatever, for the sake of our parent's happiness? If we refuse to give up any of those things, does it mean we are ungrateful children?

I am fortunate that my parents do not impose any such kind of expectations on me. Their true happiness is to see that their child is capable to make it on her own. They respect my ability to make my own decisions in life and see me as an adult with her own personality and choice.

I love my parents and I wish I had the resources to be able to do more for them. I hope that there will be a day when I can give them at least something to make life a little easier for them. To me, this has entirely nothing to do with the 'asian way'.... it's simply a matter of choice.

Love will find you

2006-04-21T20:27:00.004+02:00

omg, I have not been posting anything here for a long time now..... No motivation? No courage to see my deepest thoughts in words staring back at me? That's probably it....

You know, when you think things are going pretty ok for quite a while, and then "bang!!" something happens, or you stumble across something, it hits you like a block on your head and makes you feel like shit again, the feeling you tried all this while to get rid off....
and then you ask yourself, 'Was I really doing well at all?'. This exact thing happened to me yesterday.... three times... damn it!

I was browsing some group discussions on Flickr and stumbled across a new post titled:
"Marriage to you means..." So, yeah, I thought: "Indeed, what does marriage mean to me, really?"

But before I get to that, these are some of the replies posted by other members:
"A life with or without someone mentally "
" a friend in faith for life "
" my best friend, lover, confidente...for life..."

I really wanted to reply..... but somehow, I couldn't find the right words for my train of thought.... so many memories came flooding back, so many thoughts came into my mind, so much emotions began to cloud my mind..... so much that I was lost for words right there and then.....

Okay, this was some food for thought for a while but I could still handle this.... then, the second rude awakening happened when I stumbled across, at least, my guess is that it was his first attempt at blogging.... I was totally stunned...... ultimate shock to the fullest.... and then all sorts of feelings just jumbled up all together and I felt this big knot just wrenching in my stomach.... ouch! it hurt like hell.....

Then, the third and final hit.... came across a blog written by this girl about her marriage..... .... ah???!!??
ouch, the knot just got even tighter!!....

omg, what's happening? why the torture when I don't need it right now? why does this keep coming back my way? why can't it just leave me? Damn it, I really don't need this right now.... the only thing I need is peace within... to forget....

"Love will find you", that's what they told me when I was hurting.... oh yeah? really? and then what? When you thought you've finally found the one person you want to live the rest of your life with, and then one day you wake up and find it is lost.... you ask yourself, "Was it really true love at all?"

I never believed in marriage... until one day, someone came into my life.... and I gathered up all my courage to set my disbeliefs aside... I followed my heart....and until we were able to overcome the geographical distance, we were 'married' within our hearts... but it was not meant to be.... ours never happened.... it was only a dream, just wishful thinking....

so for now, I have locked my heart and kept the key in a safe place....

And today, I finally wrote my reply to the group's discussion, "Marriage to you means..."

a unity of two hearts, two souls, binded by truth, friendship, love and understanding, for always

Sanskrit Proverb

2006-01-06T19:01:00.001+01:00

And whilst I was searching for Mother Theresa's favorite prayer, I stumbled upon this "proverb" which was another motivational thought so I'm saving it here....

Look to this day
For it is life
The very life of life.
In its brief course lie all
The realities and verities of existence
The bliss of growth
The splendor of action
The glory of power

For yesterday is but a dream
And tomorrow is only a vision.
But today, well lived
Makes every yesterday a dream of happiness
And every tomorrow a vision of hope.

Look well, therefore, to this day.

Mother Theresa's favorite prayer

2006-01-06T18:52:00.000+01:00

I was watching a 3 hr film on DVD of Mother Theresa, and it was an inspirational film.... especially in the month of Christmas... at the end, this prayer was recited and I really loved the words.... so I did a search and here it is....

"Lord, make me a channel of Your peace,
that where there is hatred, I may bring love,
where there is wrong, I may bring the spirit of forgiveness,
where there is discord, I may bring harmony,
where there is error, I may bring truth,
where there is doubt, I may bring faith,
where there is despair, I may bring hope,
where there are shadows, I may bring light
and where there is sadness, I may bring joy.
Lord, grant that I may comfort, rather than to be comforted,
that I may understand, rather than to be understood
that I may love, rather than to be loved.
For it is by forgetting self, that one finds
it is by forgiving, that one is forgiven
it is by dying that one awakens to eternal life."

Let it burn

2005-12-14T00:48:00.000+01:00

I closed another chapter yesterday, which is another one of those things that now belongs to the past. There have been so many changes lately, so many chapters closed and there is so much to let go. Today hasn't been a good day... I thought they were gone, but today, the marks are burning.... coincidentally, I just opened my email and my horoscope for today reads:

'All those feelings you thought were gone? They're back now (that's if they were ever missing at all) leaving you with a need to express them that just won't be dismissed. What to do? What else: Call your best friend.'

'A ghost from the past is making an appearance, just as you're getting acquainted with the present and thinking about the future. So much is going on that adding your own collision of emotions on top of it equals a fairly overwhelming situation. It's time to rely on your support system -- family, friends, a favorite coworker. You may feel a little out of control, but it's only temporary, and your people will help ground you.'

This beautiful song makes me cry

2005-12-08T16:45:00.000+01:00

Goodbye My Lover (listen to this song)
by James Blunt

Did I disappoint you or let you down?
Should I be feeling guilty or let the judges frown?
'Cause I saw the end before we'd begun,
Yes I saw you were blinded and I knew I had won.
So I took what's mine by eternal right.
Took your soul out into the night.
It may be over but it won't stop there,
I am here for you if you'd only care.
You touched my heart you touched my soul.
You changed my life and all my goals.
And love is blind and that I knew when,
My heart was blinded by you.
I've kissed your lips and held your head.
Shared your dreams and shared your bed.
I know you well, I know your smell.
I've been addicted to you.

Goodbye my lover.
Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.

I am a dreamer but when I wake,
You can't break my spirit - it's my dreams you take.
And as you move on, remember me,
Remember us and all we used to be
I've seen you cry, I've seen you smile.
I've watched you sleeping for a while.
I'd be the father of your child.
I'd spend a lifetime with you.
I know your fears and you know mine.
We've had our doubts but now we're fine,
And I love you, I swear that's true.
I cannot live without you.

Goodbye my lover.
Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.

And I still hold your hand in mine.
In mine when I'm asleep.
And I will bear my soul in time,
When I'm kneeling at your feet.
Goodbye my lover.
Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.
I'm so hollow, baby, I'm so hollow.
I'm so, I'm so, I'm so hollow.

2005-11-10T16:09:00.000+01:00

After a While

After a while you learn
the subtle difference between
holding a hand and chaining a soul
and you learn
that love doesn't mean leaning
and company doesn't always mean security.
And you begin to learn
that kisses aren't contracts
and presents aren't promises
and you begin to accept your defeats
with your head up and your eyes ahead
with the grace of woman, not the grief of a child
and you learn
to build all your roads on today
because tomorrow's ground is
too uncertain for plans
and futures have a way of falling down
in mid-flight.
After a while you learn
that even sunshine burns
if you get too much
so you plant your own garden
and decorate your own soul
instead of waiting for someone
to bring you flowers.
And you learn that you really can endure
you really are strong
you really do have worth
and you learn
and you learn
with every goodbye, you learn...

Loved this song since the first time I heard it

2005-10-20T03:54:00.000+02:00

We Belong Together (listen to this song)
by Mariah Carey

I didn't mean it
When I said I didn't love you so
I should have held on tight
I never should've let you go
I didn't know nothing
I was stupid
I was foolish
I was lying to myself
I couldn't have fathomed that I would ever
Be without your love
Never imagined I'd be
Sitting here beside myself

'Cause I didn't know you
'Cause I didn't know me
But I thought I knew everything
I never felt
The feeling that I'm feeling
Now that I don't
Hear your voice
Or have your touch and kiss your lips
Cause I don't have a choice
Oh, what I wouldn't give
To have you lying by my side
Right here, 'cause baby

When you left
I lost a part of me
It's still so hard to believe
Come back baby please, 'cause
We belong together
Who else am I gonna lean on
When times get rough
Who's gonna talk to me on the phone
Till the sun comes up
Who's gonna take your place
There ain't nobody better
Oh baby, baby
We belong together

I can't sleep at night
When you are on my mind
Bobby Womack's on the radio
Singing to me
'If you think you're lonely now'
Wait a minute
This is too deep, too deep
I gotta change the station
So I turn the dial
Trying to catch a break
And then I hear Babyface
I only think of you
And it's breaking my heart
I'm trying to keep it together
But I'm falling apart
I'm feeling all out of my element
I'm throwing things
Crying
Trying to figure out
Where the hell I went wrong
The pain reflected in this song
Ain't even half of what
I'm feeling inside
I need you
Need you back in my life baby

When you left
I lost a part of me
It's still so hard to believe
Come back baby please, 'cause
We belong together
Who else am I gonna lean on
When times get rough
Who's gonna talk to me
Till the sun comes up
Who's gonna take your place
There ain't nobody better
Oh baby, baby
We belong together

The realist in me

2005-01-08T20:24:00.000+01:00

I'm restless... Can't focus, can't concentrate. The only thing that keeps playing in my mind is the trip I'm longing for. Haven't confirmed anything yet but planning as well as I can. Though exciting and intriguing, the realist side of me is making me worry... Can I afford it? Am I taking too much risk? Will I be safe?

Someone told me 2 days ago, "Be confident and everything will be fine." Am I just worrying myself sick? The words "Don't think too much"... I've heard lately a few times also. Am I too much a realist at times? Might be.

And so, I ask myself, "Will it all be worth it?". My heart skips... I KNOW it's gonna be worth it coz' I'm going to meet and be with the ones I hold so dear to me. Isn't this what I've been dreaming about all this while?

"Listen to your heart, girl"
Yeah, I should start listening more....let my heart's desire lead me to where I should be.

Familiar little fella

2005-01-08T15:55:00.001+01:00

A summer migrant to Europe, wintering in the tropics as far as India (local name: Peelak). Most often solitary, the Eurasian Golden Oriole sometimes sits in small groups at a food patch. Usually silent, however sings a distinctive pleasant flute-like ‘weelawoo’ or ‘who-are-you’, unmistakable once heard.

A Glimpse of Hope

2005-01-07T17:08:00.001+01:00

At the end of a cold dark winter day, while forceful winds are yet blowing, the clouds part for a while to let in a tiny glimpse as the sun lowers itself slowly into gracious slumber.

My first step

2005-01-07T16:33:00.000+01:00

While the new year has just begun, I've finally decided to start a blog today. A special space where I can jot down my thoughts. Being new to this, it will be quite interesting. As they say, you'll never know till you try. So here begins my blogging journey.